Have you ever felt like running away? Did you ever pack a bag and just go? 

I remember my sister “running away” as a young child. I do not remember why, but I remember watching her pack her bag with a change of clothes, a doll or stuffed animal, and her blanket. Once packed, she walked out the door only to make it to the curb and sit down. She eventually returned home and I was relieved. 

I could count the number of times I have felt like running away on one hand. Really, there have only been two times to be exact. First was after my dad passed away. Second was after Jason passed away. In both scenarios it was as if I was trapped in a space that felt upside down and sideways. Nothing was normal or familiar and there was a deep, aching emptiness that seemed unending. It felt as if the best way to shake the emptiness was to just run away. What I have learned is that you can never run away from grief. It seems grief follows you everywhere you go. 

Two questions seem to apply here:

1. Are you running away from something?
2. Are you running to something?

Are you running away from something? What I have learned is that in the early days of loss I was running away. I was running from the hurt, running from the loss, running from the empty space that my person once filled, and running from promises that were seemingly unfulfilled. 

Or maybe you are running away from someone? Maybe you are running from God. Maybe you are running because you feel that God let you down, that He did not come through when you needed Him the most. Maybe you feel lost and abandoned and do not feel like you can run back to Him. Friend, let me tell you that He is waiting with open arms to welcome you home. 

So, are you running to something? Are you running to unmetered shopping? Are you running to food even when you aren’t hungry? Are you running at a pace that you cannot sustain? Are you staying awake because it is too painful to go to bed alone? Are you running to meaningless relationships just to fill a void? These will never fill the space that was left by the loss of someone or something. Only God can fill the void that is grief.

There came a moment when I realized I was running, it was a pace that I was maintaining. But then I recognized, as did others around me, that the pace was not sustainable. So, I was forced to stop. I literally went from full throttle to coasting in neutral. I realized that I had not taken time to properly acknowledge that there had been loss, hurt, disappointment, and a future that disappeared. It was then that I truly understood that I was running from Him. It was then that I recognized my need to run home to my Father and to His open arms. He never let me down and He never abandoned me. Most importantly I recognized that He always keeps His promises, they just never look like what we expect. He is faithful. He is good. He is God.

The parable of the prodigal son is a beautiful example of a father patiently waiting, hoping, and believing that his son will return. Take a moment and read the following excerpt from Luke 15.

Parable of the Prodigal Son

“I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ So he got up and went to his father. “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.”

Friend, when we are running away from something or someone we are essentially saying we want to “do it by myself”. We are attempting to escape and avoid. We do not want any part of a community nor do we want help/support. At the core this is defiance and disobedience. God is asking us to run towards Him. I say ask because it is our choice to make. He will not force us or manipulate us into a decision. He asked, He provided promises for our obedience, and He is patiently awaiting our decision. There is nothing you could do to make God love you less. There is also nothing you could do to make Him love you more. He loves you because that is what He is: Love. Because He is love, His love isn’t dependent on you. 

The opposite is true of running towards something or someone. You are saying yes. You are full of anticipatory acceptance. Sometimes your destination is close and other times it is far away, but no matter the distance you will continue to push through to the finish. But like any good race, as you approach the finish line the anticipation builds. There are more cheers as you move closer to the finish. You are moving to the embrace and love of your family, but most importantly you are running towards the compassion and loving embrace of your Heavenly Father. 

This parable is my story and maybe it is your story as well. I want to challenge you, no matter where you are in your race, make sure you choose running to the Father instead of running away from HIm. He is patiently waiting for your decision and to watch you begin your race in attempting to run into His welcoming and loving arms.