“You say goodbye and I say hello, hello, hello.” Just like this Beatles’ song there are moments in our life where we say goodbye and there are moments in our life where we say hello. Some of these are easy and some are difficult.

Throughout my life I have had several of these goodbye and hello moments. Saying goodbye to being single and hello to being married and a wife. Saying goodbye to being a family of two and hello to being a family of three and a mom. Saying goodbye to being a student and hello to being a graduate…three times. Saying goodbye to the first professional job I had and hello to a new job…twice. Saying goodbye to friends and hello to new friends. Saying goodbye to being a mom of a teenager and hello to being a mom of an adult. By far the most difficult one so far has been saying goodbye to the title of wife and hello to the new title of widow. 

By taking on the title of widow there have been yet again plenty of goodbye moments. These moments have been difficult. Saying goodbye to a future together. We had just started to plan for our next phase of empty nest life! Saying goodbye to companionship. He was my confidant, my sounding board and my biggest cheerleader. Saying goodbye to holding hands. He had been holding my hand since 1993, that is a 28 year habit that is missed daily. Saying goodbye to my best friend. Saying goodbye to my love of a lifetime. Just saying goodbye.

But taking on the title of widow has also meant a plethora of hello moments as well. These moments have been challenging as well as empowering. You know the saying, “I can do hard/difficult/challenging things.” It is like that almost every day! Saying hello to being on my own. Since we married young, I had not lived on my own as an adult, so this is a new adventure. Saying hello to being the third wheel. Who really wants to be a third wheel anyway?  Saying hello to learning new things. This has been big. I have learned how to do many things that were previously not my job. Saying hello to making decisions alone. Oh the decisions, some have been tough and some have been fun! Two new cars, another new place to live, and so many more! Sometimes it is difficult just saying hello.

Even as I have been writing this, I have had to say goodbye to a season of intentional rest, refreshment and healing and hello to a season of re-entering, engaging, and finding a new way to balance being productive and being at rest. You see I am a “type A” or “enneagram 1” kind of a person. I thrive off of being a productive, box checker, and busy type of a person. Plus, if I am being honest I could totally add over-functioning to the list as well. You know, the kind of calendar that has no margin, no down time, no space for the spontaneous events that always seem to pop up. If I can take one thing from my season of rest it will be trying to stay balanced. By staying balanced, I mean that I want to learn how I can be productive, check all the boxes and still have rest. Attempting this feat means that I do not have to say yes to every request that comes my way just so I do not have to sit in the stillness and quietness of my home. I also have learned that I love the stillness and quietness of my home, especially when my pup is snuggled next to me. She helps me to rest, sit and just be in the moment. So, my new question will be: “Is this my best yes?” Meaning, saying “yes” to this or that will automatically mean saying “no” to something or someone else and is that the best decision?

The most important goodbye I have said was to a life of sin and the most important hello has been to a life with Christ. I made this decision originally when I was a child. I was completely unaware of how important this decision was. But as I have “matured” I have come to realize that this decision is really something that should be made more than just one time. Daily choosing to follow Christ is a rejection of giving into my flesh and worldly desires. Daily choosing to follow Christ brings peace, comfort, true joy, favor, and a Savior who fights for me even when I am unaware. This decision is not without its struggles. In John 16:33 it says, “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” You may have to read that more than once. It says we will have tribulation (affliction, distress, suffering, trial, adversity, hardship, agony, grief, anguish, misery and pain) but the next part- “take heart, I have overcome the world.” If you were reading this in a red-letter Bible you would see that this verse is written in red. These are the words of Christ. This is why we can be walking through that “valley of the shadow of death” and still have hope and peace. This is why we can be experiencing the deepest grief and sorrow and still have joy and happiness.

Maybe like me you have had some difficult goodbyes this year or the last couple of years. Which means that you also have some hello moments to reflect on as well. These moments can either cripple you or make you stronger. In my life, I have experienced both the crippling effects of the decisions that I have made in my own strength as well as developing the strength that comes from making a decision to give up control and rely totally on the Lord in the tough times.

As we prepare to say goodbye to 2021 and hello to 2022, have you taken the opportunity to say goodbye to your life of sin and hello to a relationship with Christ? If not, today is the best day to make this decision. So, will you walk out of your goodbye and hello moments stronger or crippled in loss and fear?