Have you ever done something that scared you? Maybe you tried that thing and it still caused you to be scared. Maybe you tried that thing only to discover it wasn’t so scary anymore.

Being a widow is filled with these moments. Some you see coming and you can prepare for, some surprise you, and some you choose to face head on whether you are ready or not. This season of widowhood has been filled with all types of these moments. In the beginning there were far more surprises than there are now. I seem to be in the phase where I am choosing to face these situations head on, but I still don’t often feel prepared.

Our trip to Disney revealed some of these situations. From planning the trip, to driving to Florida, and to riding “THE” ride that causes me to be scared the most…Tower of Terror!

Part of our trip was redeeming a lost senior class of 2020 trip, part birthday celebration for two beautiful young women, part Christmas gifts and a big part was celebrating Jason’s life. He loved all things  Disney- parks, movies, design and animation! So when it was time to attack Hollywood Studios what else should one do than ride his favorite ride in honor of him. This was a big step for me because it was one of these face the fear head on situations. But it was more than just that, I was doing this alone. As I stood in the hour long line alone I realized this was a big moment for me. It was big because:

• It was my first time in line for a ride by myself.
• It was my first time to ride this ride alone.
• It was my first time riding this ride without Jason.

Now some of you may love this ride, some of you may be as scared of this ride as I am and some of you may not even know what this ride is. It’s one of those drop kind of rides…and not just once but multiple times and from different heights. Again, this has never been a favorite and I normally do not ride, but this day was different.

So, I get in line alone and wonder how I am going to pass an hour-long wait without draining my phone battery. As we are snaking around the line a family of 9 behind me starts up a conversation with me. Beautiful people with adorable children. They talked and asked questions about the ride. It was their first time on the Tower of Terror. I was able to give some insight as to what they could expect…they were nervous. We then turned the conversation to the different Disney parks. I was able to share some “must do/see” attractions for their next park adventure. Before I knew it we got separated because of the way the line changes inside and then, before I knew what was happening I was boarding the ride. I was nervous and somewhat regretting my decision but I kept moving forward. Finally it was my turn. I sat down, buckled the lap belt and prayed. Then the ride was over. And guess what? It wasn’t as bad as I remembered it being! It was even kind of fun, but I know it would have been more fun to share it with Jason. So I will keep riding the rides and facing big and small fears because, “Greater is He that is in me, than he that is in the world.” I know that sounds cliché but it is true!

As I was reflecting on the whole ride experience I realized that God placed that family in line behind me to help pass the time and ease my fears. He prepared a way and made sure I was in line at the same time they were. They will never know how much it blessed me to wait with them, but I hope I was able to return the favor as well by the things I shared while we waited. To the sweet family from Chicago, spending Christmas 2021 in Orlando and Miami, thank you for helping me with the best ride of my day!

It also occurred to me that talking with people not in your ride party while waiting in a line is not normal. In fact the people who were in front of me did not converse with anyone in line and they barely talked with each other…for an hour! How often do we feel the prompting of the Holy Spirit to talk to someone, to text someone, to buy someone a coffee, to buy someone lunch, or just look up and acknowledge the person who is scanning our groceries at the store. What would my wait and ride have been like if I had ignored that family? What would it have been like to just answer their initial question and turn around? In the past, I may have done just that and then proceeded to keep to myself the rest of the time. Currently, I have been working on being present, being intentional, and not always head down and looking at my phone. This time it proved rewarding in the form of a precious family needing encouragement and answers and a single rider needing a way to pass the time so as not focus on what I was doing or even why. It was truly a situation where I was blessed for being a blessing.

In Psalm 23 it talks of a table being prepared in the valley and in the presence of enemies. God prepared a beautiful setting for me in line that day. I know it was not just on that ride, but it was where the provision was the most evident. He does and will do the same for you! Will you say yes to Him? Will you ask Him to help you with those fears? Will you talk with Him like He is your daddy and just be real with Him? If you say yes, it makes the surprise moments, the ones you see coming and the ones you choose to take on much easier, filled with peace, and infused with a sweet sense of joy.