How much more does God have for you if you were to allow Him to fully work in your life?

Recently I went out of town, met strangers that became friends, and attended a women’s conference where two powerhouse women spoke about how much more our Heavenly Father has for us and loves us. The weekend came at a pivotal moment. One where I walked in knowing God had something for me, but not knowing exactly what that something was. 

Here is what I do know:

• Kayaking in 80+ degree weather is therapeutic – especially when your hometown is under a blanket of snow and ice.
• Worshiping my Heavenly Father with over 1600 other women is powerful.
• Attending a breakout session where I could be challenged and encouraged by someone who has put on the label of widow was just what I needed.
• Dancing the night away under twinkle lights and a clear starry night is way more fun with friends.
• Eating way too much, spray tans, late night trips to Ross, and talking until the early morning hours is good for the soul.
• Visiting a beach where you can put your toes in the sand and remember plus make some amazing new memories is priceless.
• Meeting new people, hearing how God has worked and is continuing to work in their lives is proof that HE is still good and HE is still faithful.
• Stepping out and saying yes can be scary, but God has so much more if you are willing to take a chance and follow His lead. 

All of these things added to the weekend and what God was doing inside me. If you have been following this blog and my stories, you know that for the last 9 months I have been grieving various losses in my life. The loss of my spouse. The loss of the life we had planned. The loss of familiarity. The loss of my daughter’s father. Just to name a few.

The change from married life to the life of a widow has been challenging. This change has meant learning new things. This change has meant doing things on my own. This change has also meant making new memories that I will never share with Jason. But God has been with me. He has shown how He is good and faithful every step along this journey. He has placed beautiful people in my life to pray with me, to pray for me, to encourage me, to challenge me, to push me to try new things, and to be brave.  More than anything these beautiful people have kept me moving forward when I wanted nothing more than to stay on my couch deep inside my comfort zone. 

This weekend confirmed what I already knew but longed to hear: God has SO much more for me than just being a widow. He has called me to be His daughter and has given me purpose in my pain. 

• He has called me to share openly and honestly about my journey. 
• He is calling me to step out and talk about grief and to help normalize talking openly about this subject because as christians we should not shy away from difficult or uncomfortable topics. 
• He is calling me to reveal His wonders and encourage those walking a similar journey that their story, while hard, can also be good and also that their story when rooted and founded in God’s word doesn’t end in death, it ends in resurrection and life. 
• To share that He did not cause Jason to die but He will use that part of my story to redeem the pain, loss and brokenness, but He will also use it to help people recognize and proclaim His goodness and faithfulness even in the darkest of moments.  

Here are some takeaways from the women’s conference: 

• Doubt dies unborn if left unspoken.
• I am not defined by my label.
• We long for an intimate relationship with God, but we often settle for religion.
• Often we get to where we are going, but never the way we thought. God always has a plan for our purpose.
• We have to learn to trust God when we cannot trace His presence.
• Don’t miss the miracle in Malta because you are lamenting Rome.
• You are allowed to be a masterpiece and a work in progress simultaneously. 

So how do we live a life of much more? We lean in. We say YES to Jesus and all He asks us to do. So often we hesitate because we feel like we are not equipped or qualified. Y’all HE used a donkey, so who are we to question if we are properly equipped or qualified to do the work He has called us to do? If HE calls us HE will be faithful to equip us and qualify us. He will go before us and make a way so that He can be glorified.