This September we would have celebrated 25 years married. That is a quarter of a century. Sometimes it still feels unreal that he is no longer by my side or with me in the everyday moments.

This year was going to be one filled with epic trips and making memories to last a lifetime. While WE aren’t taking those trips and WE aren’t making memories to last a lifetime, I am. I have chosen to live. I have chosen to trust that God still has good things for me. I have chosen to continue to travel. I have chosen to make new memories.

So this year, while I am not taking those epic trips we had planned, I have been and will continue to take the trips that my mind, body and soul needs. This year I will make memories that last a lifetime. Why? Because I have chosen to live. I have chosen to trust that God still has good things for me.

From the mountains to the beach and coast to coast. I will drive miles and miles for the experience, the adventure, and to make the memories. Some trips I will be alone, some will be with family and some will include my friends. Why? Because I have chosen to live. I have chosen to trust that God still has good things for me.

When you have shared more than half of your life with someone it is an odd adjustment when they are gone. I have said it before, but I will say it again, it feels like you are walking around as an incomplete person. It often feels like I have half of me missing, and it is because I do. Ephesians 5:31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” We dated for 4 years and we were “one” for about 24 years, so being 1/2 is definitely an odd feeling and takes time to adjust to this new way of life. Maybe you have experienced that in one way or another. It is definitely an odd feeling that is truly difficult to fully explain or put into words beyond what is above.

The half of a person feeling is lonely, it is isolating, and it is gut wrenching. But it doesn’t feel so big everyday. The days that I give this emptiness over to my Heavenly Father are the days that it is manageable. These are the days where I feel Him filling in all the voids and meeting me right where I am and right when I need Him the most. There will always be those moments where I wish Jason was here. That he would be available if I were to reach for the phone to text him, call him or hear him complain when I tagged him in a post. There will always be those moments where I wish Jason was here, standing or sitting next to me sharing in the moment as it unfolds in front of us. There will always be that longing for him to be with me in some way or another, but God.

HE is. That is it. There doesn’t need to be a long drawn out explanation…HE was, HE is and HE is to come. There is so much hope in those words. Those words drip with peace, comfort, and anything else that you need. HE is.

Lately, I have missed the little things. The looks, the smile, the quirky twirling of his facial hair where his mustache met his beard. The amazing thing…there have been moments where I have seen those little things in others around me. When I see them, I smile. I smile because I know that God sees the little seemingly insignificant things that I miss and He says, “Here…I see you today, in this moment and this is my gift to you”. How cool is that? To know that we serve a God who can heal the sick and raise the dead and yet the twirling of facial hair is right in that list too!

What is on your list? You know that list of things that you miss the most about your person? Have you slowed down enough to see those things in others around you during your day? Have you slowed down enough to hear your Heavenly Father tell you He loves you more than you could ever imagine or put into words? 

I want to challenge you to live your life and look for the moments where God is present and making provision for you even in the little ways. Doing this means that you slow down, you are intentional with your time, you are intentional with the people in your life, you most likely will need to put the phone, tablet, TV remote or whatever down and look into the eyes of the people around you. Engage in your life because you have so much to live for and God has good things planned for you!

Remember HE is.