Often we have both Joy and Sorrow, Happiness and Grief, Courage and Fear, Laughter and Tears, Love and Hate, Appreciation and Regret, New Memories and Old Memories. There seems to always be an unspoken tension between both and.

See you can have both and of all the above and still be moving forward. When you experience one extreme, like joy, there is always the opposite extreme, like sorrow, that is present. One cannot exist without the other. You cannot say you are courageous without overcoming some sort of fear. You cannot experience deep joy without being familiar with great sorrow. You cannot walk through grief without moments of happiness and all the other emotions listed above. We also know that laughter and tears go together like peanut butter and jelly. So see…both and. 

Walking through what I have been for 11 months now I cannot imagine taking the daily steps and doing the hard work of processing without my anchor, my savior, my God. He has been the calm, steady, faithful Father leading and guiding me through all the moments and emotions. He has provided comfort in His word along with all of my amazing family, friends, and my incredible community. You cannot go through life without two things: God and People.

You see, He placed me in my family from the beginning, gave me close friends throughout my school years and placed me in this community ten years ago with this season in mind. My family and community has challenged me to grow spiritually and professionally. My family, friends, and community have challenged me to serve without expecting anything in return. Being surrounded by my family, friends, and community has been vital to my healing. My family, friends, and community have walked alongside me, loved me and ensured that even our most basic needs were met. Oh…and they even helped us move two times in the last year. 

Now, we have been created to live in this world and to walk through all the experiences that life throws our way, however, in order to live fully we must not live life alone. Jesus built a community when he recruited 12 unknown outsiders to walk with him and serve in his ministry. He not only needed their support and prayers, but he mentored them along the way. He knew that one day he would not be on earth to continue the ministry and they would need to duplicate what he had shown them. See, what a great example of why we should not do life alone. I know I say this a lot, but my family has been supportive of every decision and every move we have made from the beginning of our marriage, but mainly since last May 19. My friends have walked with me through what has been the toughest season of my life. They have poured life into me, they have supported me and challenged me to not settle for anything less than God’s best for me.

So, have you found your community? Do you have friends or family that can support you, challenge you and encourage you to grow in your walk with God? 

Proverbs 27:17 (TPT) says, “It takes a grinding wheel to sharpen a blade, and so one person sharpens the character of another.”

See, iron sharpens iron kind of friends. This is what we need more of in our world. So as you are walking through your grief journey, maybe your “both and” is figuring out how to do things on your own and yet staying connected to your family, friends, and community? I know I am working on that balance!