Home. I had previously written on the concept of home and how to find it when all the familiar has been suddenly lost. Here are my thoughts now that I have been on this journey for a year. 

Home is who you fill your life with daily. 

Recently I took a trip. I know this seems to be a common theme to when I am able to write or discover big things about myself, but there is something about getting away to reflect. If you do not do this, please try to make space and go, even if it is to your neighborhood park. A change of scenery, or rather a change of perspective is always a good boost to your writing game. Anyway, as I was driving home I was reflecting on all the experiences that were in the rear view mirror and smiled. It was so much fun to spend time with family and friends in the mountains. It was much cooler than my home town at the time which just sweetened the journey. The two core reasons for the trip were to help my mom load a moving truck to come home and also take time to remember Jason and how much he loved the mountains, nature and boost oxygen (if you know, you know).

So many new memories made and yet the thought still lingering in my head and heart was how much I wish he was with me. I know that thought will continue to be a part of each day and experience that is yet to come because he will always be a part of me. That being said, it should never stop me from making new memories and experiencing life to the fullest daily. 

Do you allow your loss and grief to paralyze you? I pray you do not. 

Anyway, back to the topic of home. When you are driving back to 100*+ temperature plus humidity from an average temperature of about 72* with zero humidity it really makes you think about why you are living where you are currently residing. It can also make you pause in your excitement to return to the hotter climate. I know I did. It was a struggle to pack up and leave. I was comfortable. I was enjoying my time in the mountains. But, real life was calling me back. 

So as we are driving back “home” it made me really think about why I wouldn’t just up and move to the mountains. After all, it is just me. I could find a church, a job, a place to live easily…right? Then it hit me. My people. My community. The people that have walked with me, supported me and helped to shoulder the burden of grief over the last year would not make that move with me. I would literally be leaving home to establish a new home alone.

Nope. Not going to do it! I could not imagine doing life without these people. My family (included in the group above) lives fairly close together and we make an effort to get together and celebrate often. Almost all my friends live close to me as well or are a quick text, call, or FaceTime away and we try to communicate often. So would I be willing to make a new state, a cooler climate, amazing views, and nature my new “home” and leave the community I am a part of behind? No. 

As I was driving and really thinking about all of the above, I finally realized what the phrase “Home is where the heart is” truly means. It means that if my heart is with the people in my life that is where I will feel most at home. If they travel with me to the mountains that will feel like home. If I am sweating it out in the lowlands and they are with me, I am at home. 

So, this flatland girl is staying put and I will continue to build and lead into my community. I am learning the importance of being real and vulnerable in relationships and how it leads to deeper friendships and family ties. I am learning that helping others to see the need for community and helping them get connected are a couple of the drivers in my life’s purpose.

There, I said it. I have discovered part of my renewed purpose in life. That purpose is to help women around me discover their need for community and also help them build it for themselves. I should add that at this time I feel drawn to widows, mainly because this is the journey I am currently walking out and helping those in the same place feels right. We need each other. We understand each other on a level that most people do not.

Where is your home? Who is your home? Do you have a community to share your home with? If not, what steps can you take today to build that community around you? 

If you are struggling to find or build community, ask God to lead you to people that you could invite into your circle. Be bold and ask people if they’d be open to living a more authentic and vulnerable life with you. A place where you can have friends that will listen, that will cheer for you and will cry with you. That is where you will find your home.