Have you ever traveled to a place you have been to before and upon arriving were overwhelmed by emotion? Recently I traveled to a place that I have been to a couple of times before and when I drove into town I felt this sense of overwhelming emotion that it actually brought tears to my eyes. I am not yet sure why, but I have some working theories that I will share with you today. 

First theory: The emotional connection. So the place holds an emotional connection as the first time I visited was on the first big road trip I took after Jason died. It was a long trip from Oklahoma to Florida and this place was an overnight refuge. A place of rest. It honestly felt like I was taking a deep breath and was able to sleep. It came with great conversation and comfortable seating and of course all the coffee we could manage to consume before getting on the road again. Even my daughter and her friend commented on what a peaceful night it had been. When I returned the next year to just spend a few days the feeling was the same. This place, the home where I stay is filled with peace. This location is set along a river and there is just something about the smell, the pace and the overall feeling that begs you to slow down, take a deep breath and just rest.. 

Second theory: The pace of peace. Like I said above there is a pace here that is different than where I came from in Oklahoma. The first two times I arrived here I was seeking peace, I was seeking a change of pace and I was seeking refuge from hurry and an overwhelmed life. Both times I was welcomed by this peace and change of pace. I was truly taking a deep breath for the first time in a long while. I learned about the history of this place and how it is referred to as the “Place where the river sings”. How can you live hurriedly when you have to stop to hear the river sing? How can you rush from place to place when all you want to do is drink coffee or tea while sitting on your porch? Coming from a place where I was in “Go” mode all the time this was a welcomed break. It was an escape. If I am being honest most of my trips in the early days felt like this because I was just trying to fill the quiet spaces. I knew after the last time I visited that I would need to return again and see more and learn more about this beautiful southern town and that is just what I did on this visit. 

Third theory: Jason. Jason loved music. Jason played the guitar. He would have loved this little sleepy town and all the music history it holds. I learned the last time I visited that this sleepy little town is responsible for quite a bit of music over the course of American history. This state has churned out quite a few famous artists, producers, writers and more! So I know that by learning more about this town and its musical history I am learning more about something he loved and It makes me smile. 

Fourth theory: Change is good. I have realized that I am not the same person who visited the last two times. The person who was here before was filling the quiet spaces and choosing hurry over being ok with rest and quiet. The person who was here before was fresh in grief. The person who visited recently is healing. She is comfortable in the quiet. She is walking out her healing and has embraced her story. God is still writing it and it is good. She knows that God is a good God. He is faithful and He has provided and will continue to provide all that she needs. The girl who embarked on this trip is not the same, she has found a new job where she has purpose and is able to relationally connect with her coworkers and those she serves. She has found a rhythm to life that embraces both the rest and adventure that she craves. The girl who arrived has changed and it is good. 

More than anything this trip has reinforced my belief that moving forward in your grief journey can be a good thing. You can still make new memories, experience new adventures, cry when you feel like it, laugh often, love deeper and embrace all the moments in a way that most don’t fully understand. I often think this is a gift that comes with loss. Because of deep loss you see the moments of life in a different way than those who have not experienced deep loss. Change is good but so are those familiar places that allow you to appreciate the change and growth that you have walked through. 

Dear friend, embrace both the familiar places where your memories live as much as you embrace the new adventures and experiences in your life. I want to leave you with one question, in what ways have you changed each time you have visited a familiar place?