Three years! I cannot believe that I have been putting my thoughts, feelings, and random ramblings out into cyberspace for three years! So much has changed, and yet I feel like it is just the beginning of all the changes that are yet to come! This one hits a little differently as I am beginning the fourth time doing things and celebrating holidays and milestones without Jason, so I figured, why not write and celebrate this milestone? Here we go!

Oh! This little blog has become so much more than I could have ever dreamed or imagined! When I first began writing, Jason was quarantined in the hospital and it was to keep track of medical data. Later, I used it to track his highs and lows each day when he was in the ICU. I wanted nothing more than to see the small improvements as well as to have a record of any missing or overwhelming days. I wanted to be able to look back and see where God showed up even if I didn’t see it at the moment. 

After he passed away, these writings bled over to a safe place where I could vent, question, and process emotions of what widowhood felt like at age 44 and beyond. Then, those journal entries turned into Google Drive, Google documents, and eventually what I see now as Reveal the Wonders. I was hesitant to share in the beginning, I felt like what I had to say was nothing more than the ramblings of a stupidly exhausted, grieving widow trying to make it in this world. Now, I see it as more. I see it as an opportunity to share what this journey really looks and feels like. I feel like even if it’s just my mom reading (Hi Mommy!) I know I was asked to share, so I am being obedient. 

When I sat down to choose a name it was simple. If you have read the post “What about that Name?” you know how I came to choose Reveal the Wonders, but looking back I see it more clearly now. God knew. He knew when He spoke those words to Jason while we were watching the movie “How to Train Your Dragon”. He knew when Jason secured the domain name. He knew and He provided. You see, my Heavenly Father has this beautiful view of the whole story of humanity. He sees from beginning to end and yet He also sees every intricate detail of everyday life for everyone. That concept is often hard to grasp for someone who can really only see what is right in front of her and what has already passed. Beyond that, I felt a strong sense that revealing the wonders of all God was doing in my life in the midst of heartbreaking loss was at the core of what He wanted me to share. For real, we all know He shows up and provides for us but how many of us share that with others when it happens? I guess I have been doing this, hence the name, Reveal the Wonders. 

So what do I see for these ramblings and how long will I write? Easy, I won’t stop writing. I have so many documents that I have started but haven’t come back to yet. Maybe I will someday and maybe they end up in the trash. Either way, the ones that make it beyond the document and onto the blog are there for a reason. Remember, my Heavenly Father asked me to write and share. In my attempt at being obedient, I write and share, although sometimes reluctantly. My hope is to one day pull all of these ramblings and also some very interesting unpublished ramblings and put them into a book. The goal of the book is for it to read like a beautiful adventure through all the volumes this life has in store for me. But, that is for another day, because it is still a story that is being written by the most notable author I know! Until then, you get to tune in for a snippet or two every so often and enjoy it while you sip your tea or coffee!

Going into year 4 without Jason I am learning more about myself. I am learning more about my likes, dislikes, preferences, and interests. I am learning how to be confident in the woman God has molded, called, and purposed me to be in His plan. I am learning to love and be confident in my physical body, just as much as in my spiritual body. I crave time with my Heavenly Father because I know that without that time, my relationship with Him and others suffers. I am continuing to learn about slowing down, and savoring this life and the people I spend my life with daily!

What is on the horizon? I have no clue and that is where this adventure truly begins! For the first time in my 48 years on this planet, I am ok with having zero control over where my life is heading and I am loving the freedom that giving this over to my Heavenly Father has brought. Somewhere in the last several months, I decided to truly let go and allow God to fully step in and take the helm. I mean, He does know what is best and I cannot rush what He has timed out perfectly for me. 

Whether you have followed along from the beginning or just jumped on the blog train thank you! Thank you for reading, commenting, liking, or encouraging me to continue over the last 3 years. Without each of you, I probably would have stopped sharing long ago. 

“We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you, for we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love you have for all the saints because of the hope reserved for you in heaven. You have already heard about this hope in the word of truth, the gospel that has come to you. It is bearing fruit and growing all over the world, just as it has among you since the day you heard it and came to truly appreciate God’s grace. You learned this from Epaphras, our dearly loved fellow servant. He is a faithful minister of Christ on your behalf, and he has told us about your love in the Spirit. For this reason also, since the day we heard this, we haven’t stopped praying for you. We are asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding, so that you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him: bearing fruit in every good work and growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, so that you may have great endurance and patience, joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has enabled you to share in the saints’ inheritance in the light. He has rescued us from the domain of darkness and transferred us into the kingdom of the Son he loves. In him, we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.” Colossians 1:3-14