_{It is so easy to say, “Be thankful.” But when you are walking through grief and loss it is often challenging to find things to be thankful for, especially on the really tough days. Giving thanks is often tough because grief is so encompassing and yet as a believer we are challenged to “Give thanks to the Lord for He is good. His love endures forever.” I Chronicles 16:34. There have been so many days where all I could give thanks for was being able to get up and be thankful for the food and coffee I had for breakfast. You know the feeling. When it seems like all you could be thankful for is all the small things. Yet every time I expressed my gratitude I found it easier to find more significant things to be thankful for, especially once I committed to expressing gratitude.} 

_{Will holidays ever feel like they used to? No. Should I expect things to be “normal” and operate like they used to? No. What was normal is not anymore. What the holidays and even regular days brought before the loss is not what you should expect after the loss. It is not the same because you are missing a person, someone who added to the culture of your family, someone who helped the holidays feel magical and someone who made home feel like home. I have often said that celebrating post loss is like trying to clap one handed. You are still trying to do a normal activity, yet it’s not working. So, do not treat or expect holidays to be like they used to. Expect them to look and feel different, but do not shy away from being thankful. God is good even when life isn’t and God is faithful even when we lack faith. Make a plan for something different, make a plan that is comfortable for you and your immediate family.} 

_{I have been learning about the character of God. In Exodus He is described as compassionate, gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness. More than that His character doesn’t change. How comforting is that? He doesn’t change, His character doesn’t change. I now have more to be thankful for because my Heavenly Father is always compassionate, gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in love and faithfulness. These aspects of His character do not rely on how I feel or what I am experiencing. I cannot change His character. I can change my attitude and the focus of my thoughts. I can be thankful in the midst of grief and loss.} 

_{This year my daughter and I started something that I hope we will repeat every year. She bought a couple of white pumpkins (not real) and a sharpie marker. Each day we write what we are thankful for on the pumpkin so at the end of November we will have two pumpkins full of all the things we are thankful for! At first that empty pumpkin looked daunting. It seemed like a big task to fill it up with words describing all the things that we are thankful for despite our loss. I am going to do the same below. I am going to list some of the things I am thankful for this November and really just any day of the year. This list is not all encompassing of everything I am thankful for, but it is a start. It challenges me to keep finding things to be thankful for because when I do, my thoughts are not on my problems and what I am missing. Being thankful has helped me to refocus, to look at what I have, to recall all that my Heavenly Father has blessed me with and more than anything all that He has promised to me as his daughter.}

_{I want to challenge you to do a thankful challenge. But do not do it alone. Find family members and friends to do it along with you. This helps you spread thankfulness and at the same time build in accountability partners. It is easy to “forget” or get busy, but being thankful causes you to intentionally slow down and refocus. Below is my list, I dare you to make one of your own!}

• _{I am thankful for my Heavenly Father. That He is compassionate, gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in love and faithfulness. I am thankful that He does not change.}
• _{I am thankful for my daughter. Her name means joy of the father and she radiates that daily. She is so much like her father that it is a daily reminder of all the good things about him and yet she looks like me. So it is a fun combination and I love being her mom/life adventure guide.}
• _{I am thankful for my family and Jason’s family. They provided so much support and guidance while he was in the hospital and everyday since. My daughter and I would not have made it this far without them!}
• _{I am thankful for my church. My church family has been such a source of encouragement and has provided a great community in a time where we needed this kind of support the most.} 
• _{I am thankful for my friends. My friends have been my rock. My friends have been a safe place for me to talk, to cry, and to process. In turn they have been a beautiful picture of the love of my Heavenly Father here on earth.} 
• _{I am thankful for my job. It has been a place where I can be me and yet I can also be the new me. I can talk about normal things and it is also a safe place to process my grief amongst friends. The best part is I have had some amazing conversations and there are some people at my place of employment that are challenging me to be more, do more and not stop living!} 
• _{I am thankful for my home. It is a home that after a couple of pit stops is finally a place of peace and rest. It is a place where I can grow and feel secure enough to try things I never thought I would do. It is a place where I can retreat, it is a place where I can create, it is a place where I can grill, cook, bake and entertain. It has become a home in a time where the concept of home felt like an unobtainable goal.}
• _{I am thankful that I can move, lift and workout. Recently I switched up my daily routine and began focusing not just on my mental and spiritual health. I have added focus on my physical health. I desire to be stronger because I do not want to grow old from not moving. I desire to grow stronger as I age so I can live a long life and enjoy every day!} 
• _{I am thankful for the ability to go on adventures. I have a “list” of things I want to do and I have been blessed with people who are willing to tag along. There have been some epic moments over the last year and I know there are more to come. Hang on this is going to be quite the ride!}
• _{I am thankful that I can tell my story. It is a hard story to tell and yet it has the imprint of love, goodness, faithfulness, and mercy etched in every sentence and word. My Heavenly Father is the ultimate author and I know He is not done writing my story. The best news…He isn’t done writing your story either and for that I am also thankful.} 

_{I have so much more that I could write and express when it comes to being thankful. Writing this post and also working on our pumpkins has caused me to realize that while grief has caused gratitude to be challenging it has truly deepened it. Gratitude is now something that I see differently, probably because when you experience loss you get a new perspective on just how precious time and life with those you love is. So again, I want to challenge you to write out your gratitude list. Then make it a habit to express your thankfulness to your Heavenly Father daily. It truly sets the tone for the day.}