Oh September! September is the month that our family loves because most of us get to celebrate our birthdays. There aren’t many days that do not mark a birthday or anniversary in our family and extended family this month. Basically everytime we turn around we are eating cake or having a family get together. Is this bad? No way! In fact I love it because most of the time it means gathering as a group to catch up, celebrate, eat something that has been lovingly grilled and watch some football. If we are lucky the evening might even end with some Texas Hold ‘em or Mexican Train Dominoes. Yes, we are that family and I love it!

I am actually one of the September birthday celebrations. Yes, I begin a new year in September every year. I love my birthday, not for the reasons most think. But yes, I do love birthday cake.🙂 I love my birthday because it marks a changing of seasons in a way, it falls at the beginning of football season. So while the weather may not feel cool and crisp you know it is right around the corner. I also love my birthday because it means there is another opportunity to Carpe Diem. Meaning, as I age I have learned that birthdays should be celebrated. It is celebrating life. It is celebrating you. Whether you believe it or not, you are worth celebrating…even if you slide into this birthday on two wheels and zero miles to go until empty. I guess what I am trying to say is that I love celebrating life. It is too short to dismiss a birthday as just another day. You and I have been created for such a time as this and we should embrace that and live it up…within reason of course. 

That being said, since Jason died I have found that celebrating birthdays are tough. It is a struggle to enjoy the moments as I once did. Those celebrations now feel like I am trying to clap with one hand or celebrate without glitter or confetti. Isn’t that a picture of grief? You have joy, you have laughter and yet you have tears and you have crying. But I have been making an effort to be in the moment. To live life fully in the moment that I am presented with, meaning that if I am at a celebration I am happy, I express joy and we live it up and make memories. So, this year even though it will be difficult I am choosing joy. I am choosing to believe that he is celebrating me in the most perfect way. This new month and this new year will be the best because I am choosing joy. Will there be tough days, yes, but I do not have to reside there. That is not the end of my story. My story ends good. My story ends with joy. 

Along the lines of celebrations, I recently learned something new and I have been working to process just exactly what it means to me personally. I wanted to share the nugget of wisdom, but please know I am working to define what it means in my everyday life. So I am learning alongside each of you!

Some people (including me) have long disliked the term “widow”. I have never liked it, personally and it has never felt comfortable checking that box on a form. That being said, what I heard has forever changed my point of view on this term. Someone recently encouraged me to look at being a widow as an honor. For me, it was an honor to be married to Jason. It was an honor to walk next to him through about 30 years of life. It was an honor to sit next to him in the hospital and pray for him and fight for him when he could not fight. It was an honor to release him to heaven where he received his perfect healing. It is an honor to be his widow. It is an honor to carry his legacy daily and share our story in hopes that it brings someone else comfort and peace. You see in the Bible there are specific groups of people that are mentioned and called to be cared for because they are special and those groups are the widows and orphans. So, if God saw that a widow was worthy of attention and care, why should I spend so much time disliking the label? Why don’t I give the fight over to Him and allow Him to infuse His peace, comfort and goodness into the situation. 

I want to challenge you to choose joy. Choose to let God fight on your behalf. Choose to rest in His goodness and faithfulness because that is His gift to us.